Large women love catalogs. They are a booming business. Yet boutiques and even chains (such as Lane Bryant) are still difficult to find in many areas of the country. Even in areas where there are plus-size clothing stores they are far outnumbered by those catering to sizes below 14. Yet we know statistically the average American woman is a size 14 and weighs around 150 pounds, and that there are more women over size 14 in America than there are in smaller sizes. The demographics don’t line up. Why?

Women buy clothing that doesn’t fit.

The culture of shame attached to size extends and permeates the catalog industry. Fat girls can sit at home in complete secrecy and order clothing that may fit. If it doesn’t fit, many never return the items. The catalogs make double the money: they buy, can’t fit the size, re-buy, and keep both hoping to either fit into the smaller one eventually or simply tuck it away as part of the cycle of denial. In a recent poll conducted via an internet relay chat channel for BBWs (big, beautiful women), 34 of 50 women polled admitted they never return clothing purchased via catalog if it doesn’t fit. 43 admitted they often buy sizes they know are too small in hopes of achieving the look or feel they associate with the smaller size.

The shame is further compounded by some marketing techniques. Lane Bryant and Romans, for example, persistently use models who are considered by the fashion industry to be “plus size,” but who are quite thin. Though certainly not Kate Moss look-alikes, these models are tall and curvy, not in any way “plump” or “chubby,” and shaped completely different from the women shopping the catalogs. They do not have the body-shape issues associated with women who are truly full figured. Clothing does not cling to large stomachs or fail to drape over very generous bottoms and bosoms in the pages of these catalogs. As such, women flipping through the pages envision the dress they select falling in perfect, romantic folds on them. The reality is that a 6' 160 pound size 16 looks quite different from a 5'4" 160 pound size 16 in any article of clothing.

When the average American woman, with her thickened middle, spreading hips, and sagging breasts, slips into the clothing displayed on the leggy amazons gracing these slick fashion catalogs, she goes into an instant depression. Silk doesn’t slither; crepe doesn’t flow; linen isn’t crisp. Silk fails to stretch across the middle when one sits and becomes a drum-tight skin shining on a bulging belly; crepe bunches, itches, and gets stuck at the hips because there is no give to it; linen wrinkles because it is cut for a size 8 woman who has been blown up to a size 16 without her proportions changing. Plus size women are not simply a bigger size 8. Plus size women have different shapes. They need longer tops. They need lower inseams. They need clothing cut to fit them, not to cover them.

There are some catalogs providing this. There are clothing chains providing this also. But they are precious few. As the size acceptance movement gains steam more catalogs are even offering “custom tailoring.” One came out recently with the fabulous idea of offering an assortment of basic styles with the option of allowing the customer to select fabric and length so it could be custom made, then shipped. Prices were higher, of course.

The best thing women of size can do for themselves is to stop buying in shame. Try to order from catalogs using full figured models rather than amazons who are only “plus size” in a strictly technical sense. Consider your own body shape when ordering. Most importantly, return things that don’t fit. Beat the culture of fashion oppression by refusing to join it.