Boob Tube Politics:
Nasty Girls, Spice Boys, and the Beating of One Very Dead Horse
©Christine Olinger for Ladybug Flights-Body Image

It seems almost impossible that people are still talking about Janet Jackson's breast, but weeks after Justin Timberlake ribbed her bustier to shreds at the Superbowl, the fallout continues. Last night the 76th annual Academy Awards show was broadcast on a five second delay as a direct result of Ms. Jackson's public display. Howard Stern is whining that she got him fired. Fox News manages to sneak it into pretty much every conversation.

Talk about much ado about nothing.

Here in the US breast feeding went into steady decline in the post World War II era. It seems novel to us that in other parts of the world nursing is often not optional: you have a child, you nurse the child or it doesn't eat. Breastfeeding is healthier for both child and mother and is recommended by experts. We know that 9,000 infant deaths per year are contributed to formula feeding. Yet since the 1940s and 50s women in the US have resisted.

And this is one of many factors that have contributed to the mystification of the female breast. Certainly in other western countries-- throughout Europe, Canada, and Latin America-- there is no such restraint attached to the baring of chests. Although other societies do, indeed, identify womens' breasts as sexually titillating objects of attraction, they simply don't make as big a deal out of them as we do.

So Janet's flashed nipple is a scandal. It aired during afternoon hours, in front of fans of all ages, uncensored and live. The media weighed in. The president and first lady weighed in. Everyone had an opinion. Everyone was shocked.

Everyone needs to take a deep breath and get over it. A woman showed her breast for a few seconds. She may have done it to get attention. Considering her family history it would be no surprise. A young man, who seems to have escaped equal censure, bared that breast during a musical number. Considering he used to be a Spice Boy, that's no surprise, either.

CNN, Fox News, and lots of other folks show war, death, and home-grown violence all day, every day. Our children come home from school just in time to be bombarded with soap operas featuring rape, incest, murder, stalking, organized crime, and anything else bad writers can dream up. I got hooked on them myself as a youngster, so I know. I remember being quite confused about the love shared between Luke and Laura Spencer. They were supposed to be soul-mates, yet he had raped her in their first season together on General Hospital.

I'd never seen a bared breast on television at that time, but if I were offered the choice, today, of exposing my kid to one or the other, I'd go for Janet's hooter. It's a breast. It can feed a child, cradle a loved one, pillow a weary head, and yes-- excite the masses. It can't shoot, can't maim, can't in any way endanger me or my loved ones. I do not endorse Ms. Jackson or her nipple, but I live in absolute certainty that its momentary emergence at the Superbowl caused no death or physical harm, although over at www.masturbationforpeace.com they did post a public show of support and I also noticed a “horror” section where incidents of personal injury are cataloged, so the jury may still be out.

I don't even like Janet Jackson. All of her music sounds exactly the same to me. I sort of liked her when she was Tootie, but that was a long time ago. These days, though, everyone seems to be giving her a hard time over something that has no business riveting the national gaze. She's an idiot, and so is Justin Timberlake. She's an even bigger idiot than he is ONLY because she was dumb enough to put her nipple in the hands-- literally-- of a former Spice Boy. But it happened. It's over. I'd really love to hear about something else now, thanks. Anyone still fascinated can trot over to masturbationforpeace.com and stare at the still photographs. You may want to check out the Horror Stories section first, just for safety's sake.