We've Come a Long Way, Baby?
Body Image and Pregnancy
©Christine Olinger first appearing in Ladybug Flights, June 2003

Last week Demi Moore became, once again, a media darling. Ms. Moore appeared in a new feature film wearing a black bikini and looking quite sexy. Why the shock and applause? Because she is middle aged. A great deal has been said and written about how terrific she looks, and she certainly does. Curiously, a much younger Moore received less than enthusiastic response when she appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair some years ago wearing nothing but her belly, swollen in advanced pregnancy. Though the pose was demure, with one hand covering her breasts and the other tenderly covering the swell of her abdomen, Moore was criticized, called a harlot, and made the brunt of countless tasteless jokes.

Let's review: an older woman who can defy mortality by appearing to be eternally youthful, employing whatever means necessary, is to be admired; a younger woman achieving immortality by giving birth to progeny must remain tastefully invisible.

Pregnancy has long been a topic of great social duplicity. New mothers were, in days gone by, stuffed with as much food as they could take in and scolded if they did anything more strenuous than waddling to the lady's room. They were wrangled into maternity clothing that was designed to both conceal and camouflage their pregnancy, yet announce it to the world in glaring bows and darted pleats. They were encouraged to gain weight, but encouraged, too, to do it where no one would see them.

Today we are facing new issues among pregnant mothers. The social pressure to remain thin is great enough that recent studies indicate an alarming trend in under-weight babies that surpasses the numbers caused by smoking. Though fitness classes for expecting mothers, better diet, pre-natal vitamins, and greater public acceptance of pregnancy itself have made things easier, the pressure to maintain a beautiful body after birthing has increased. Today mothers are more often encouraged to “show off” pregnancy. Curiously, this “showing off” often takes a demeaning tone.

Gone are the grey cotton smocks with peter pan collars women wore through their gestation. But have we improved the look? Today's mother is paraded about wearing an oversized t-shirt with a huge arrow emblazoned upon it and large letters announcing “BABY” to the world lest anyone, god forbid, mistake the swell for fat. Vitamin E creams are available to cut back on stretch marks. The focus has shifted from the woman to the child she is bearing.

Is this healthy? Certainly it's a wonderful trend to support new mothers in their pregnancies. Yet we also now know that a good deal of post-partem depression has to do with both body image and loss of focus on the mother. New mothers go through dramatic changes in their bodies, from breasts suddenly sagging to weight and water gain. They also suddenly find that the spotlight, which had been on them and their needs during pregnancy, is now on the new arrival. The arrow is no longer pointing to mom's belly. It's pointing to the crib and the bundle of joy inside it. Though she is now entering some of her most needy weeks, the mother is suddenly second on the agenda.

The collective social gaze needs to be redirected. Demi Moore's bikini clad body is certainly a thing of beauty and her apparent youth serum is to be admired. But we should have applauded her maternal pose, all those years ago, more enthusiastically. Pregnancy is a tremendous gift: the gift of life in its most basic form. It should be celebrated without shame. New mothers should be supported both during and after pregnancy. Most importantly, the ridiculous expectations we have of the female body need to go the way of the grey cotton maternity dress. Women give birth. It is unrealistic for us to expect their bodies to remain tight and elastic after doing so. It is unfair to expect them to carry the child, the burdens of a thin-crazed society, and the loss of support and concern the instant the child is delivered. Our focus needs to be on nurturing women through birth, body changes, and the first year of motherhood, as well.